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You can feel it in the air: the leaves are falling, the nights are cooler, you have a year’s supply of candy ready to go and wouldn’t you know it – you drink so much Cider Jack you almost burn your house down every night!

Have no fear, trick or treaters, Williams Sonoma has got you covered. Behold the remote controlled pumpkin light. Boasting the most cutting edge in jack-o-lantern technology: remote controlled pumpkin lights, that control the lights in your pumpkin… remotely. “What?” says you? You want more? Okay, well check out these spooktacular features:

• Guarantee light emitting from your pumpkin in the wind AND rain!
• Flicker lights slow AND fast!
• Increase light from bright to BRIGHTER!
• Put the light out with a remote control up to TWENTY FEET AWAY!

There you have it, the Gords have spoken. Never again will we have to walk those extra twenty feet to blow out a candle ever again – and for only $19.95 no less!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what we call a slow news day. Happy carving.