Since the dawn of man we have been searching for a better way to go to the bathroom.  Well maybe that’s not entirely true, but there have been some technological breakthroughs on how we handle that business.  First there was paper, then there were toilets, and eventually automatic flushing.  All of these pale in comparison to the latest evolution of toilet technology…the remote.

I present to you the Spaloo Primus: a fancy automatic toilet seat and bidet that gives you the ability to go completely hands free and paperless…just like online banking.  The Primus has a laundry list of features… such as heated seat, air dryer, hydraulic seat, variable water temperature and pressure, and most of important of all — the Primus remote control.  If you’ve followed Japanese toilet technology (who doesn’t?) then some of these features shouldn’t surprise you.  They have had high-end toilets for quiet some time now. Some even have the ability to monitor your heart rate, but no one has offered a remote — until now.

That’s right, the Primus comes with a wireless remote that gives you complete control over your toilet from wherever you want (within reason).  Obviously the utility of the remote while your away from the toilet is pretty limited, but for the disabled or people with difficulty seeing it could be a great help. I just hope no one steals the remote and starts playing pranks on unsuspecting victims.

In the end the Primus isn’t a joke. It’s actually all about cleanliness.  Water is a more effective cleaner then paper (or so I’ve been told), and the Spaloo line of bidets is a helpful product for many people. The Primus weighs in at US$469, while the Classic II (No Remote) is a more affordable $399.  Personally though, I think I’ll hold out for a toilet made of solid gold, but who would be crazy enough to make that?